dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
