I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
