I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i used baking grease as lip gloss
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
