you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I believe in your delicious
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
