If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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