If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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