There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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