Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
