i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
