Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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