guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
