Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
