Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Holy sore nipples Batman
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
