i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
