im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
