I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
