Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
