Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
