STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My hand turned me down
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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