My hair reeks of homosexuality.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
