i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
