If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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