you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
