Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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