i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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