I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
