i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
