Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
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she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
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Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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