so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
