Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
