I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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