She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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