My Higher Power is John Stamos
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
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