chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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