Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
