11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
