I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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