i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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