What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
are you so shy because you have an std?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
