I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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