you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
