I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
