i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
