She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
