you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
God, I missed his penis.
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