No awkward lesbian experiences without me
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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