McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Randomize
