Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
