You're completely useless in the revolution.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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