i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
