im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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