therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Sorry about my life...
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
