Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
