Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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