my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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