Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
