dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
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We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
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He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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