those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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